my story

Paintthrowing.

This is my story of healing through art, a story of recovery, being lived a day at a time. I am Mom & textbook co-dependent to my twenty year old daughter and recovering addict. I can't imagine the battle she goes through on a daily basis to stay clean, but she is doing the work and succeeding. I'm incredibly proud of her. I am grateful for every moment I have with her. To hear her voice answer the phone in the morning is a joy that's hard to describe ..

While she was away in rehab, my wise therapist suggested that I paint. I was an art student at one time and hadn't painted in years, but I listened to her.

I laid a large piece of cut canvas on the floor of my dusty old barn. I plunged my hands into buckets of house paint and began throwing wildly at the canvas. I threw paint with my whole being-- with all my guilt and incomprehension and gut-wrenching sadness, with my all-consuming love for & faith in my daughter. I threw paint until my shoulders ached. I cried and laughed and screamed and sang. I threw paint with blazing anger at my naivete and uncanny ability to pretend that everything was ok. But mostly, I threw paint at the overwhelming fear of losing my daughter.

What was born from this craze of paintthrowing was not only art and beauty, but understanding and surrender and gratitude. And I found that I could breathe again.

When my daughter saw my paintings, she suggested that we make cards with them. Cards that might ease the pain of others in our boat -- so many others -- struggling with addiction, alcoholism, eating disorders; ease the pain of anyone suffering.

She chose the inside messages from letters that I had written to her when she was in rehab. Then she designed the logo on the back of the card. And here we are. We'd like to call them recovery/encouragement cards but they are whatever you need them to be.

From the pain and uncertainty and horror of addiction emerged something good & beautiful. A miracle in itself, this project has been healing for both my daughter & me. And I have no doubt that intervention of the Highest kind made it possible.

I hope my paintings speak to you; we hope our cards do as well.

It's a good day! Kit